LEAGUE OF LEGENDSWelcome to the League of Legends, this will be the inaugural season for what will hopefully prove to be the best league in MFN Football. With the initial draft fast approaching here is a brief outline around each of the 32 franchises, followed by a look at some of the top prospects in the 46 round initial draft.
The LoL is a truly global league with 16 teams on the ‘American’ continent and a further 16 spread throughout Asia, Africa and Europe. Let’s take a look at the South American Division first
SOUTH AMERICASAmazon Poison Dart Frogs
Based in: Manaus Brazil
Stadium: The Jungle Arena - outdoor - grass
Team Colours: Orange/Yellow/Amazon Green
Biggest Rival: Buenos Aires Gauchos
Story so far: The Poison Dart Frogs are considered to be one of, if not the most deadly creature in the Amazon rain forest. The diminutive golden yellow frog is not to be messed with and can strike it’s unsuspecting prey at any moment. This is a philosophy the owners want to see in there gridiron team. Unlike there closest rivals (Gauchos), the Poison Dart Frogs believe in playing a beautiful game, with a quick strike offense
Buenos Aires Gauchos
Based in: Argentina
Stadium: The Ranch - outdoor - grass
Team Colours: Pale Blue/grey/black
Biggest Rival: Amazon Poison Dart Frogs
Story so far: The Latino Cowboys, Gaucho’s are widely known as ‘brave and unruly’ horsemen. Being Argentine owned and based they will no doubt have a heated rivalry with the Brazilian Poison Dart Frogs. How best to describe what the owners expect? ‘By any means necessary’ - expect to see a team that will get down and dirty, play tough physical football and push the rules to the extreme
Caracas Firecrackers
Based in: Venezuela
Stadium: The Fire Pit - outdoor - grass
Team Colours: Red/Orange/Yellow
Biggest Rival: Cusco Flying Serpents
Story so far: As the name suggests, Caracas has a colourful, wild philosophy that they want to see on the field of play. They aim to play most of their games late in the day and expect to see fireworks every time the Firecrackers score. Despite Amazon being there closest geographical rivals, Cusco are the team that get under Venezuelan’s skin. This is a long and fierce rivalry going back to the days when Venezuela was a Spanish colony and as such they will be fired up when they go head to head with the Barcelona Bulls too.
Cusco Flying Serpents
Based in: Peru
Stadium: The Pyramid of the Flying Serpent - retractable roof - synthetic grass
Team Colours: Green/Yellow
Biggest Rival: Caracas Firecrackers
Story so far: Inspired by the ancient Mayan civilisation the Flying Serpents remain somewhat of a mystery. After building a dominating race, they seemingly disappeared without trace almost overnight. Besides their rivalry with what they consider an inferior Venezuela team, look out for the ‘Pyramid derby’ when they go head to head with Luxor. Little is known of the ownership, although in wild rumours Quetzalcoatl himself, the mythical feathered serpent from whom all Meso-Americans are said to descend, it is claimed he has returned to see his ‘team’ rise to global domination once again
CENTRAL AMERICAS
Haiti Hex
Based in: Haiti
Stadium: The Shamans Den - Dome - Carpet
Team Colours: Purple/Plum
Biggest Rival: Havana Smoke
Story so far: Haiti has a heritage built around Witch Doctors, Shamanic priests and Voodoo. The stadium has been blessed with bones of the dead buried in both end zones to symbolise the death of their foes. The only team whose medical team includes a Witch Doctor, the League front office will need to keep an eye on that to prevent the use of any PED’s. For superstitious opposing players, it is said that ‘He who crosses the Hex goalline will be struck down by a mysterious season ending injury’ Do you dare break the Hex?
Look out for the Magic bowl, when ever they take on what they consider to be the modern day ‘charlatan’ Conjurors.
Havana Smoke
Based in: Cuba
Stadium: The Ashtray or The Havanadome - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Smoke grey/Tabacco brown
Biggest Rival: Tabasco Chilli Peppers
Story so far: Havana, Cuba. Home of the Cigar and now the Havana Smoke. Team colours are Tobacco brown and Smokey grey. They play in a Cigar shaped stadium, known affectionately as 'The Ashtray'
The franchise was all set to start life in Mexico as the Acapulco Locos but with the Mexican Hector Gimenez going bust, the league were forced to search for an emergency backer.
Fidel De Texes stepped forward as the teams saviour on the basis they set up in Havana. It is suggested, but not proven that they are funded by a drug cartel and De Texes is just a front man as his local Cigar production plant doesn't have the financial power to own a sports franchise this big without added financial backing.
Was Gimenez run out of town by the drug overlords or is it just an unsubstantiated rumour? Mexico is certainly not ready to forgive and forget and the Tabasco Chilli Peppers ownership have been quick in condemning the League front office for allowing the shady goings on in Havana.
Montego Bay Pirates
Based in: Jamaica
Stadium: The Dockyard - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Red/Black/White
Biggest Rival: Haiti Hex
Story so far: Ha har me hearties, shiver me timbers, hoist the mainsail, the swashbuckling, buccaneering, smugglers of the Caribbean are docked in Jamaica. The Jolly Roger flies above the Dockyard and these boys will pillage and pilfer from the rich. Fuelled by rum, the Pirates are expected to be a band of rag-tag, drunk mercenaries who would steal from their own Mother. Said to fear the Hex, and rumoured to be looking to ‘pay-off’ teams with pieces of eight, like most of the Central Americas division, they don’t appear to be the most trustworthy owners
Tabasco Chilli Peppers
Based in: Mexico
Stadium: The Spice Rack - Outdoor - Carpet
Team Colours: Red/Green/Yellow
Biggest Rival: Montego Bay Pirates
Story so far: The fiery Mexican owners of the Chilli Peppers have already put letters of complaint in to the front desk of the League of Legends with regards to all the opponents in the division. Look for things to get extra spicy when they take on any divisional opponent, in particular the Pirates, who it is claimed have put a bounty on any Chilli Pepper player.
Jose Gimenez, team CEO has not seen his brother Hector since the demise of the Acapulco Locos and is certain that Havana are behind his disappearance, to clear the way for the Smoke. This truly is a division where all the teams despise each other, but who will come out on top.
USA
El Dorado Gold Nuggets
Based in: El Dorado, Arkansas, USA
Stadium: The Counting House - Retractable Roof - Synthetic Grass
Team Colours: Gold
Biggest Rival: Las Vegas Conjurors
Story so far: The golden boys of the League of Legends, team owner Claude Clusterbuck made his fortune from discovering some of the lost gold of El Dorado. With a seemingly endless supply of wealth Clusterbuck has been looking to negotiate a ‘no cap’ league with the League hierarchy. With the other owners up in arms at the prospect, Clusterbuck is said to be looking into ‘workarounds’ with back-handed payments
Kentucky Stallions
Based in: Lexington, Kentucky USA
Stadium: The Paddock - Outdoor - Kentucky Blue Grass
Team Colours: Chestnut Brown/Dappled Grey
Biggest Rival: Roanoke Settlers
Story so far: The Cooldown Stud farm has built its millions on breeding horses in Kentucky and have known branched out into Sports Franchise ownership. The Stallions are there first ‘team’ but they have big plans for Baseball, Basketball and real Football franchises to make Kentucky a true sporting conglomerate.
The owners have sold a small percentage of the club to a Colonel Sanders, will the Stallions turn out to be nothing more than fried Chicken?
Las Vegas Conjurors
Based in: Nevada, USA
Stadium: The Palace Ballroom - Dome - Synthetic Grass
Team Colours: Green/Black
Biggest Rival: El Dorado Gold Nuggets
Story so far: Perhaps the glitziest franchise in the league, the Conjurors have been blessed with the first pick in the inaugural draft. Will there Offense be an optical illusion, using sleight of hand, all smoke and mirrors? Will the defense have loaded dice and marked cards?
The Hex have already angered the Conjurors, claiming they are the true Masters of the dark arts, with Vegas as fake as a pink Unicorn with a rainbow mane coughing up glitter.
Roanoke Settlers
Based in: Virginia, USA
Stadium: Roanoke Park - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Red/White/Blue
Biggest Rival: Kentucky Stallions
Story so far: The English colonials first found Roanoke in the late 16th Century with 115 brave souls originally making the trip, discovering Roanoke just off the coast of what is now North Carolina. Their story had no happy ending though and it remains a mystery to this day as to what became of the original English settlers.
The Settlers will bear the colours of both the American and British, red, white and blue flags. With an ownership that is half American and half English this is a unique franchise. Whilst Kentucky may well be their biggest rival look out for games between the GB and Ireland divisional teams and the Native American owned Yellowknife Daggers - more on that later
NORTH AMERICAS
Alaska Eskimos
Based in: Anchorage
Stadium: The Big Ice Blue Igloo - Dome - Carpet
Team Colours: Ice Blue
Biggest Rival: Greenland Labradors
Story so far: The Big Ice Blue Igloo will host the Eskimos in Anchorage this season, like El Dorado, the Eskimos franchise is built around gold. The Alaskans don’t mine for it though, they dredge the icy sea.
Rivalling Reykjavik and Greenland as the coldest franchise in the league, travelling teams will be glad to be playing inside a dome. Long associated with Huskies, the Eskimos will be chomping at the bit when they get into a dogfight with the Labradors.
Greenland Labradors
Based in: Nuuk, Greenland
Stadium: The Kennels - Dome - Grass
Team Colours: Chocolate/Black/Gold
Biggest Rival: Alaska Eskimos
Story so far: Labradors are faithful hunting dogs and this franchise is built around community spirit and the bonds of a close knit pack. The owners are known for rewarding loyalty but are also known for ruthlessness in cutting ties when necessary.
They are most looking forward to the Dog Bowl, with Alaska - Will these dogs have there day?
Thunder Bay Lightning
Based in: Ontario, Canada
Stadium: The Fuse Box - Retractable Roof - Grass
Team Colours: Stormcloud Grey/Lightning Yellow
Biggest Rival: Yellowknife Daggers
Story so far: Thunder Bay Lightning have built a stadium with a retractable roof to allow them to play indoors when the weather gets stormy and there is electricity in the air. Canada’s first of two franchises the Lightning’s primary goal will be to be the Kings of Canada. Playing in the Fuse Box, the ownership is said to include both a descendant of Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla. Let’s hope they can work together more harmoniously than their deceased relatives.
Yellowknife Daggers
Based in: Canada
Stadium: The Knife Box - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Blood Red/Steel Grey
Biggest Rival: Thunder Bay Lightning
Story so far: The American Native American tribes have gathered together to own a franchise in the League of Legends, unfortunately the league have forced them into owning a Canadian franchise. Yellowknife is a City in the Northern Territories of Canada, and the Knife Box has been built alongside the Great Slave Lake in an area of outstanding natural beauty.
The tribal leaders that make up the ownership are said to be livid with the way they were refused access to any of the four American franchises and it’s believed they have put curses on all four teams. It is also known that one of the leaders is from the Croatoan tribe that is considered by many to have slaughtered the Roanoke Settlers.
GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND
Edinburgh Royals
Based in: Scotland
Stadium: The Royal Palace Grounds - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Royal Purple/Gold
Biggest Rival: Nelson Admirals
Story so far: Edinburgh has a long history and tradition with the Royal family, this is reflected in the team colours of Royal Purple with a gold braiding. It is believed that the Windsors have a 10% ownership of the franchise, thus allowing the team to play within the Royal Palace Grounds on home gamedays.
With Royalty expected to be in attendance at most games, will the head coach find himself getting beheaded if they have a bad year?
Killarney Blarney Stones
Based in: Ireland
Stadium: The Leprechauns House - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Bottle Green/Olive Green/Electric Green
Biggest Rival: Tiger Bay Sabretooths
Story so far: The Irish are well known for red hair, Guinness, fighting and the mythical Leprechuans. The Guiness family have a large stake in the club but resisted the urge to send out the team in black shirts with white helmets. Choosing instead to go with a cornucopia of traditional greens.
The Leprechuans house is said to be full of charms with the lucky charms hidden in the hosts dressing room and the cursed charms in the road teams.
Nelson Admirals
Based in: England
Stadium: Victory Field - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Navy blue/Sea green
Biggest Rival: Edinburgh Royals
Story so far: With a tip and a wink to an Old English Legend, the Nelson Admirals were born. Playing on Victory Field, a stadium adorned with a giant Ships Wheel and Anchor. Over the years, the English have upset most all countries around the World and will be well aware that getting one over on the Admirals will be well received around the League.
Said to be in cahoots with the League’s Front Office, the Admirals were quick to dismiss allegations of collusion, stating it was ‘Poppycock and nonsense’ in an official statement from the club.
Tiger Bay Sabretooths
Based in: Wales
Stadium: Tiger’s Lair - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Red/Green/White
Biggest Rival: Killarney Blarney Stones
Story so far: Whilst most anticipated a Dragon to be the face of the franchise, the Welsh surprised everyone when they revealed a Sabretooth Tiger for the team. With Tiger’s not being native to Wales, owner ‘Deadly’ Dai Sooner explained that the logo fitted in perfectly with the teams HQ in Tiger Bay, Cardiff.
Besides there obvious rivalries within the division, Tiger Bay will also be looking to win the ‘Battle of the Bays’ on the rare occasions they have to play Montego Bay Pirates.
EUROPE
Barcelona Bulls
Based in: Catalonia, Spain
Stadium: The Bullpen - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Red/Yellow
Biggest Rival: Black Forest Elves
Story so far: We are Catalan’s not Spaniard’s announced team owner and former star Matador Jesus El Toro. Explaining that the red and yellow vertical stripes were in honour of the flag of Catalonia and not the horizontal stripes of Spain.
In his opening statement El Toro went on to state that ‘We have our colours, we have our flag, we have our own language and now, now we have our own American Football franchise'.
Baku Blue
Based in: Azerbaijan
Stadium: The Blue Bowl - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Sapphire Blue/Blue Diamond
Biggest Rival: Reykjavik Ice
Story so far: Azerbaijan is a country whose wealth comes largely from Oil, the Blue are based in Baku, the City of Winds and are funded by the owners of the legendary Sapphire Blue Diamond. The largest gem ever found anywhere in the World to date. Weighing in at approx 727.36 carats. It’s value is thought to be in the trillions.
It certainly came as a shock when the Diamond itself was built into the stadium, taking pride of place above the halfway line, when the sun catches it, it is said to give off a light show like no other.
Black Forest Elves
Based in: Germany
Stadium: The Schwarzwald Stadium - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Cherry Red/Chocolate/Black
Biggest Rival: Barcelona Bulls
Story so far: Yet another team built around myths and legends. The Cherry red, chocolate and black colours of the Elves pay homage to the Black Forest Gateau. The Elves are reputed to roam the Forest in the shadow of darkness, stealing children that stay out after dark. It is said that the stories of Hansel and Gretel and Little Red Riding Hood are based on the Black Forest Elves.
‘If you go down in the Woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise’ is the clubs motto and warning to visiting teams
Reykjavik Ice
Based in: Iceland
Stadium: The Snow Bowl - Retractable Roof - Carpet
Team Colours: Ecru/Claret Red
Biggest Rival: Baku Blue
Story so far: Born of Viking blood, the Ice are hardy souls and have stated that they will only close the stadiums retractable roof, if forced to by league officials (health and safety). Convincing players to join may prove tricky but as owner Thorbjorn (translates as Thunder Bear) Leifsson was quick to state, ‘if they don’t have the stones to play in the cold, they don’t have what it takes to be an Ice Viking’
ASIA
Baghdad Assassins
Based in: Iraq
Stadium: The Black Shadows - Retractable Roof - Carpet
Team Colours: Black
Biggest Rival: Jeddah Djinn
Story so far: The stealthy Assassins live in the shadows of Baghdad and are well known for their ability to sneak in and kill whilst no-one is looking.
The Black Shadows as they are known, are based in Iraq and are looking to wreak vengeance on all teams in the Western World. Legend has it that the Assassins were originally known as the Hashashin (Hashish eaters) and were rewarded for their endeavours with the drug and 144 nubile virgins - It is unclear as yet as to whether this will be a clause in the contract for Assassin players and staff.
Beijing Red Dragons
Based in: China
Stadium: The Dragons Egg - Outdoor - Grass
Team Colours: Green/Dragons Blood Red/Green
Biggest Rival: Mumbai Jumbos
Story so far: The Legendary Chinese Dragon will ‘welcome’ opponents to China. The Stadium is an architectural masterpiece, shaped as a Dragons egg, with a Dragon curling it’s way around the egg, culminating with the entrance which is a wide open Dragons mouth. You literally have to walk through the Dragons mouth, past it’s teeth to get into the stadium.
The theme carries on for the players as they enter the field from a Dragons head tunnel that literally breathes fire!
Jeddah Djinn
Based in: Saudi Arabia
Stadium: The Genie’s Lamp - Dome - Carpet
Team Colours: Turquoise/Brass
Biggest Rival: Baghdad Assassins
Story so far: Ali Baba, Alladin, Sinbad, the Prince of Persia and the Genie of the Lamp are all legendary characters associated to one degree or another with Jeddah. The Saudi owners elected to go with the Djinn (dark genie) as the face of the franchise.
Said to possess great powers, will the owners get three wishes for each season?
Mumbai Jumbos
Based in: India
Stadium: The Trunk and Tusk Park - Dome - Synthetic Grass
Team Colours: Lavender Pink/Electric Pink/Elephant Grey
Biggest Rival: Beijing Red Dragons
Story so far: India has a reputation for doing things at their own pace, a particularly slow pace. That of a lumbering Elephant. The Elephant signifies great power and is also the form of Indian God Ganesh. The Elephant headed God was said to be the ‘remover of obstacles’ and the God of wisdom, success and good luck. He was also the son of Shiva the Destroyer.
The Jumbos believe they have the Gods on their side and in their pink and grey uniforms they might just need a God playing at MLB to stomp the opposition.
AFRICA
Kimberley Diamonds
Based in: South Africa
Stadium: The Diamond Mine - Dome - Synthetic Grass
Team Colours: Blue Diamond/Diamond White
Biggest Rival: Zambezi River Rhinos
Story so far: And so to the eighth and final division, Africa. We start at the base of the continent in the Diamond Mines of Kimberley, South Africa. No surprises to know that the team is funded by diamond miners who supply 85% of the World’s diamonds.
The stadium is unusual in that it is built a mile below ground and the car park is directly above the pitch. On non match days you could easily drive over the stadium and not know it’s there.
Luxor Sphinx
Based in: Egypt
Stadium: Akhenaten’s Tomb - Dome - Carpet
Team Colours: Sandy Brown/Dusty Pink
Biggest Rival: The Nile Crocodiles
Story so far: Egypt, like Canada, has two teams in the League of Legends and they will battle it out to become Pharoahs each year in the Desert Bowl (not to be confused with the Dessert bowl).
Steeped in history and located above Akhenaten’s Tomb, the stadium is ornately crafted with hieroglyphs and carvings. A large Sphinx sits proudly outside the Stadium fiercely protecting those inside.
The Nile Crocodiles
Based in: The Nile Delta, Cairo, Egypt
Stadium: The Murky Depths - Outdoors - Grass
Team Colours: Crocodile Green/Yellow/Black
Biggest Rival: Luxor Sphinx
Story so far: Egypt’s second team, is snappy with plenty of bite. Located in the Nile Delta on the outskirts of Cairo they are desperate not to live in the Shadow of the Sphinx.
Another big rival is Zambezi, with the River Run Derby expected to be hard fought each year.
Zambezi River Rhinos
Based in: Lusaka, Zambia
Stadium: The Roaring Horn - Retractable Roof - Synthetic Grass
Team Colours: Rhino Grey/Clay Red/Riverbank Green
Biggest Rival: Kimberley Diamonds
Story so far: Last but by no means least come the thundering, stampede of River Rhinos. The team stadium sits astride the banks of the Zambezi and has a base made of reinforced glass allowing you to look into the river below the stadium - a truly terrifying view. With a 300 foot Rhino Horn at the Stadium entrance, visiting the River Rhinos gives an extraordinary feeling of trepidation and nerves.
